Preparing A Catholic Funeral

The Catholic Church sees the death of a Christian as the end of the earthly pilgrimage and the beginning of a new and eternal life with God. The rites of the Church reflect this belief. These rites aim to assist the dead with prayers of the Church for their eternal salvation in Jesus Christ and to aid the family and friends of the deceased in their time of loss and sorrow with a message of hope and consolation in Jesus Christ.

Please accept our sincere condolences if you are now planning a funeral because you recently lost a loved one. If you are planning in advance for yourself, in order for your wishes to be known, we welcome you.

The death of a loved one is a difficult time for families. Please know that we are here to help you and support you during your time of loss. At the Church of St. Gregory the Great our commitment is to assist the family of the deceased in preparing a meaningful liturgy as we turn to God in faith for the reward of eternal life for those who believe in and lived for God in this life and to pray to God for the healing and consolation of those who mourn.

We assist families in the planning of the Funeral Mass, and suggest ways for family and friends to be personally involved. The following information is meant to make you aware of what you will need to do to plan a Mass of Christian Burial. The Lazarus Ministers of the parish will guide you in the development of these plans and make this journey of hope and thanksgiving with you.

PRESENTATION: January 9, 2023 at 9:30am and 7:30pm

After the death of a loved one, the family’s first contact is a local funeral home. It is the responsibility of the funeral home to contact the parish office to arrange for the funeral liturgy. The parish office, working with the funeral home, will set the date for the visitation, Mass of Christian Burial, and interment as needed. Once a date has been established a member of the Lazarus Ministry will reach out to the family to schedule a meeting with them at the church. There is a twofold purpose to this meeting. First, it provides an opportunity to work with the family in choosing the readings, music, gift bearers, readers, etc. and to answer any questions the family may have. Secondly, it enables us to learn more about their loved one, so that the funeral liturgy and homily will be both personal and appropriate to the family and to the deceased.

If the family is not working with a funeral home, a family member may call the parish office (609-587-4877) to schedule a date and time for the Mass of Christian Burial (with cremains) or a Memorial Mass (with no body or cremains). A Lazarus Minister will then contact the family.

While we will do everything we can to accommodate family needs we always have to consider the scheduled use of the building, the availability of clergy, and the occasional restriction of the Church year which prohibit the Celebration of a Funeral. A Funeral Mass, at the Church of St. Gregory the Great, may be celebrated at 10:00 am Monday – Saturday depending on church and clergy availability. Funeral Masses are not celebrated on Sundays, Holy Days of Obligation, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, or Holy Saturday.

Advanced planning is making your funeral arrangements before your death. This allows your wishes to be known, thus eliminating an incredible burden on your loved ones during the very stressful and painful hours after your death. Advanced planning is a concrete sign of your love for surviving family members. Your advance planning will give your family the guidance they need to feel comfortable that they are carrying out the decisions you made. Your planning may prevent disagreements among survivors at an emotionally charged time.

The Roman Catholic Church has long-standing traditions regarding the funeral service. The Order of Christian Funerals has three distinct and important parts reflecting the earthly pilgrimage and the journey to Heaven for the followers of Jesus: The Vigil at the funeral home, the Funeral Liturgy at the Church, and the Final Commendation and Burial at the cemetery.

The Catholic Church’s funeral rites provide the opportunity to gather together while facing the reality of death and embracing the hope and promise of eternal life in Heaven. Centered in prayer for the deceased, the rites also provide support for those who mourn. The proper order of the Catholic funeral rites is as follows:

1. The Vigil Service (Wake)  - This will take place during the visiting hours at the funeral home you have chosen. Often a member of the parish (deacon or priest) will lead this service when it takes place the night before a funeral Mass.

2. Mass of Christian Burial (Funeral Liturgy) - This is the most important part of the celebration of Christian Burial. This is almost always celebrated within a Mass. The bodily remains are honored by being brought to the Church. Together we celebrate the life of the deceased in the context of the Paschal Mystery, that is, the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

3. Rite of Committal (Burial or Intement) - A parish deacon will accompany the remains and the family to the cemetery, where the Rite of Christian Burial will conclude with the prayers of Committal and Final Commendation.

Although it is now permitted to have the deceased’s mortal remains cremated and even to have the cremated remains present at the funeral, the Church prefers that the body not be cremated and urges that, if cremation occurs, it be done after the funeral (although cremation often takes place well before the funeral Mass, and this option remains available).

When the body is cremated the Church requires that the cremated remains be laid to rest in a sacred place: buried in a grave, buried at sea or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. It is forbidden to keep the cremated remains at the home of a relative or friend or scatter the cremated remains.

PLACEMENT OF THE PALL
Music Selection of Hymns for the Gathering, Offertory, Communion and Recessional
Music plays an important part in the funeral liturgy and adds great beauty and solemnity to the prayers of the church.

Guidelines for funeral music in the Order of Christian Funerals explicitly states that the texts of the songs chosen for a funeral mass "should express the paschal mystery of the Lord's suffering, death and triumph over death and should be related to the readings from scripture." The music should be chosen to uplift the participants and should help to create in them a spirit of hope in Christ's victory over death and in the Christian's share in that victory. Secular and pre-recorded music is not appropriate.
Music Options

READINGS
First (Old Testament) and Second (New Testament)
First Reading Options – Outside Easter Time
First Reading Options – During Easter Time
(Easter Sunday through Pentecost Sunday)
Second Reading Options

PRESENTATION OF THE GIFTS (Optional)
Families may designate two to four people to bring forward the gifts of bread and wine for the celebration of the Eucharist. The priest will call the gift bearers by name and the Lazarus Minister will lead them down the aisle to the gift table. Once the priest and deacon are in place the gift bearers proceed up the center aisle to present the gifts to them and then return to their seats.

BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE
A family member is asked to sign the deceased’s name into this book.

WORDS OF REMEMBRANCE (Optional)
It is preferred that the family use the option to have a remembrance offered at the wake service, the graveside, or at the repast. Such a choice of venue could actually be a very special blessing for the bereaved family, as they could share stories, both humorous or deeply touching, in a setting conducive to broader participation and not need approval from the parish. If you choose to do Words of Remembrance at the Mass there are very specific guidelines concerning length, content, approval, and one-person delivery.
Guidelines for Words of Remembrance

FLOWERS (Optional)
Flower arrangements are welcome at the Funeral Liturgy outside the Lenten season but not required. These may include one single arrangement in basket (placed in front of the ambo) or two matching arrangements (placed in front of the altar) and may be brought to the Funeral Liturgy by the funeral home or family. Floral decoration should always show moderation. During Advent flowers should be suited in color to the time of the year. Families are welcome to leave/take the arrangement/s at the conclusion of the Mass. With cremains, a family may bring one arrangement to place on the floor in front of the cremains table or a wreath to place around the urn.

Guidelines for Flowers

In the aftermath of the death, a myriad of decisions need to be made. At times of grief and loss, the foundations and traditions of faith can be a comforting, stabilizing factor in getting through the difficult times. A Lazarus Minister from the parish will assist you in working through the details and in selecting appropriate hymns and readings. The following information outlines the Mass of Christian Burial.

INTRODUCTORY RITES
Greeting – The family gathers at the entrance to the church with the casket and the priest greets the family and friends of the deceased.
Sprinkling with Holy Water - At this time the priest sprinkles the casket with Holy Water.
Placing of the Pall  - The Funeral Pall is draped over the casket following the Sprinkling with Holy Water. Family members are welcome and encouraged to take part in the placing of the Funeral Pall. From two to six family members may do so.
Entrance Procession to the altar, accompanied by the Gathering Hymn - The clergy, followed by the casket, then the family enters the church at this time. If there are cremains, the family is already seated when the hymn begins with the cremains placed on a table at the foot of the Sanctuary.
Opening Prayer – A prayer that expresses the theme of the celebration.

LITURGY OF THE WORD
In every celebration for the dead, the Church attaches great importance to the reading of the word of God. The readings proclaim to the assembly the Paschal Mystery, teach remembrance of the dead, convey the hope of being gathered together again in God's Kingdom, and encourage the witness of Christian life. A careful selection and use of readings from Scripture for the funeral rites will provide the family and the community with an opportunity to hear God speak to them in their needs, sorrows, fears, and hopes. In the celebration of the Liturgy of the Word at the funeral liturgy, the biblical readings from Sacred Scripture may not be replaced by secular readings.

The church offers us the opportunity to hear three readings from Sacred Scripture. One reading is customarily from the Old Testament; a second reading is from the New Testament and a Gospel selection. The family selects the first and second readings from the Church approved readings.

It is appropriate to have members of the family, friends or the Lazarus Minister proclaim the readings. It is preferable to have a different reader for each of the two readings. Keep in mind that the reader should be someone who can clearly proclaim the readings so everyone hears the message of the reading, be Confirmed and practicing the Catholic faith. The priest will select and the Deacon will proclaim the Gospel reading.

The celebrant will call those chosen to proclaim the First Reading (from the Old Testament) and the Second Reading (from the New Testament) to come forward at the proper time. When they arrive at the foot of the steps to the Sanctuary they should bow to the altar before proceeding to the ambo (pulpit). Prior to the funeral, the selected readings will be placed at the ambo (pulpit). The reader should not carry a paper copy of the reading with them up to the ambo. At the ambo, he or she should proclaim the reading slowly and clearly, without rushing. When the reading is concluded, they leave the Sanctuary, once again bowing to the altar below the steps, and return to their pew.

First Reading (Old Testament) - The first reading is selected from the approved list of Scripture passages usually from the Old Testament except between Easter Sunday and Pentecost when the first Scripture reading is taken from the Acts of the Apostles or Revelations from the New Testament. 
Responsorial Psalm - At the Church of St. Gregory the Great Psalm 23, The Lord is My Shepherd, will be sung.
Second Reading (New Testament) - The second reading is traditionally taken from the New Testament. 
Gospel Acclamation - The cantor sings the Gospel Acclamation. At the Church of St. Gregory “Come to me all you who are labored and burdened and I will give you rest.” is used.
Gospel Reading - The Celebrant selects the Scripture Reading from the Gospels. The Deacon typically proclaims the reading.
Homily – The priest will deliver a sermon after the Gospel that relates the passages of Scripture read to the life of the deceased. It is meant to be a reflection on Christian life, death, and resurrection and will aim to be both personal and appropriate to the family and to the deceased.
Universal Prayer - These prayers come directly from the Order of Christian Funerals and are read by the deacon. 

LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST
Presentation of Gifts (Optional) - The Liturgy of the Eucharist begins with the Presentation of the Gifts of bread and wine. Families may designate two to four people to bring forward the gifts of bread and wine for the celebration of the Eucharist. The priest will call the gift bearers by name and the Lazarus Minister will lead them down the aisle to the gift table. Once the priest and deacon are in place the gift bearers proceed up the center aisle to present the gifts to them and then return to their seats.
Offertory Hymn - The family selects the Offertory Hymn and the congregation is invited to join in the singing.
The Mass continues in the usual fashion. The congregation will be invited to sit, kneel and stand at the appropriate times and to join in the sung acclamations. Holy Communion will be offered to all Catholics who desire and are able to receive the sacrament. Non-Catholic family members and friends are encouraged to join in silent prayer during communion, or may go to the front with others who are receiving Holy Communion with arms folded across their chests, indicating that they wish to receive a blessing only.
Communion Hymn - The family selects the Communion Hymn and the congregation is invited to join in the singing.
Prayer After Communion – A prayer of thanksgiving for the Eucharist received at Mass.
Book of Remembrance – A family member is asked to sign the name of the deceased into our Book of Remembrance. He/she will be remembered in prayer by our parish family.
Words of Remembrance (Optional) - Catholic liturgical norms do not permit eulogies during the funeral Mass. The funeral rites of the Church suggest better times for eulogizing the deceased than during the sacred liturgy, for example, during a vigil or wake service outside of the church, or at the graveside, or at the social event that follows the liturgy where family and friends will gather for a reception. However, the funeral rite of the Church makes provisions in the liturgy to speak of the deceased “life of faith” and relationship with God. If a family desires to offer “Words of Remembrance,” following the Prayer After Communion we ask that families respect the following guidelines:

• Only one person may deliver Words of Remembrance
• They should be no more than three minutes in duration.
• A written copy is shared with the Lazarus Minister before the day of the Mass for approval. 

FINAL COMMENDATION
The Celebrant leads the congregation in final prayers on behalf of the deceased and the surviving family.
Song of Farewell (Incense) - Song of Farewell by Ernest Sands is sung at all Funeral Liturgies by the cantor.
Prayer of Commendation – A prayer commending our brother/sister to the Lord and help us who remain to comfort one another through faith.
Procession to the Place of Committal – Invitation to bring the deceased to his/her place of rest.
Recessional Hymn - The recessional hymn is sung by the congregation while the casket/cremains moves to the rear of the church. Family members select the hymn. The casket stops at the rear of the church, the pall is removed by the funeral home, and the celebrants bless the casket with holy water before departing the church.
Military Honors - For those who have served in the military: at the conclusion of the Mass during the Recessional Hymn at the back of the church the funeral pall is removed and the American Flag is placed on the casket before departing the church. The funeral home will take care of setting this up for you.

Paschal Candle -This Easter candle is lit and given a place of prominence at the front of the church near the casket or cremains and reminds us of the light of Christ given to us at Baptism.
Sprinkling the casket/cremains with Holy Water - Here we recall the pouring of water in the baptismal celebration, washing away our sins.
Placing the Pall - A white cloth is placed over the casket by family and recalls the “white garment” we were given at Baptism as a sign of putting on a new life in Christ.
Incense - In the liturgy, the body of the deceased is incensed. Though not a baptismal sign, the rising of the smoke from the incense signifies respect for the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Why should the funeral usually be a Mass? When is it appropriate not to celebrate a Mass?
The funeral should usually be a Mass because the Mass is the most powerful prayer we are able to offer for our loved one who has died. The Mass is a taste of heaven on earth; at Mass we enter into the worship of the angels and saints in heaven, and we are united with those who are being purified in purgatory. Therefore, we are never closer to those who have died than when we are at Mass! (See Order of Christian Funerals n. 154)

It is appropriate not to celebrate a Mass when there are pastoral reasons not to. For example, if most of the family is not Catholic and might have difficulty participating in the Mass. However, these cases should be carefully discerned, especially when the person who has died may have desired a funeral Mass. If the funeral is celebrated outside of Mass, a Mass should be offered at a later time for the soul of the deceased.

If we plan to cremate the remains, is it permissible to do so prior to the funeral liturgy?
The Catholic Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral liturgy, since the presence of the human body better expresses our belief that the body is truly a part of the person, and that this same body will be resurrected at the end of time. (See Order of Christian Funerals Appendix n. 413-415) In extraordinary circumstances, it is possible to cremate the body before the funeral liturgy. This should be discerned with the pastor.

Why do we use incense?
Incense is an ancient liturgical practice that symbolizes our prayer and worship; as the fragrant smoke rises upward, our prayers rise to the heavenly throne. Its use at funerals is a special act of reverence for the body of the deceased, as we offer our loved one back to God and pray for his/her soul.

Can family and friends be included in the services?
Definitely! We always encourage those who wish to participate in special ways. Several options are: Immediate family members may place the pall on the casket, be readers for the two Scripture readings or present the gifts of bread and wine at the Preparation of the Gifts. These persons must be practicing Catholics.

Can a family member or friend give a eulogy (words of remembrance) at the funeral liturgy?
The funeral liturgy is not the best time for a eulogy (a speech in praise of the deceased) because the focus of the funeral is to pray fervently for our loved one that they may enter quickly into eternal happiness. While a eulogy looks back on a person's earthly life which has ended, the funeral liturgy looks forward to the future--to his/her heavenly life which is just beginning!

A eulogy by friends and family, or a sharing of stories from the person's life, is better suited to the vigil (wake). It is permissible, however, for a friend or family member to give brief remarks in remembrance of the deceased after the Prayer after Communion. There are specific guidelines for words of remembrance at a funeral liturgy.

Can favorite songs be sung or played, even if they do not have Christian words?
Only sacred music, that is, music with sacred words and a sacred sound, may be used in the liturgy. It is difficult for us to imagine how beautiful heaven actually is, and how much greater its joys are than those of earth. Though our loved one may have enjoyed a certain song during his/her lifetime, from now on we hope that he/she will be singing the songs of heaven. During the liturgy, we are able to join our loved ones in that heavenly song!

Can a slideshow of pictures or display of memorabilia be shown during the liturgy?
A slideshow of pictures or display of memorabilia is better displayed at the vigil (wake). The vigil is more properly a time to remember the earthly life of our loved one, while the funeral liturgy looks forward to heaven. The Mass is a special time when we can "take a peek" at the glory of God, whose loving face is so beautiful that all earthly joys pale in comparison.

Similarly, items of memorabilia should not be brought up in procession during the liturgy. We do allow a small picture of the deceased on the cremains table.

At what age should I consider pre-planning cemetery and funeral arrangements?
Adults of any age who make their own decisions should have a plan. Like your will, it can be revised throughout your life as needs change. In general, the earlier you preplan the more options you have. Your cemetery and funeral options will probably never cost less than they do today. Statistic show that 43 percent of all deaths are unexpected; we are not guaranteed any tomorrows.

In our culture, few families are comfortable discussing death and loss. This is just one of those things that does not get easier as time goes by. Now is the best time for you to get your plan in order.

What Funeral Home should I use?
There are many Funeral Homes available in the Hamilton area. All of them do funeral at our church. Feel free to call any of them to discuss funeral arrangements with them.

Is there a fee for use of the church?
Most funeral directors itemize all cost within their billings and make a check out to the Church of St. Gregory the Great. Our parish fee is $525 and covers the cost of the Organist, Cantor and use of the church. Only the pastor retains the right to discount any funeral stipends; which is a decision based on his discretion.

Planning Form - A planning form is available to print for your convenience. The form provides a place for you to record your wishes for your funeral if you so choose to do so in advance of your own funeral. The form may be brought to the parish office to be placed on file. Please leave a copy of this form with your other personal items. Take the time to share what you want for your Catholic funeral with family members now so they are aware of your funeral arrangements.
Planning Form

When a member of your family is seriously ill or near death, whether at home or in a hospital, a family member should contact the parish office (609-587-4877) to request the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and the Apostolic Pardon.

Music Options
First Reading Options
First Reading Options During Easter Time
Second Reading Options
Guidelines for Flowers
Guidelines for Words of Remembrance
Planning Form

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